Father's Day

It's been a quick minute since I posted last, but I had too many thoughts today about Father's Day than could be shared in a simple Facebook or Instagram post.

For the last two years I had one goal in mind: to go to graduate school at Utah State. 

Everyone knew it, and in my mind as long as I got accepted it would be a no-brainer and the easiest decision I ever had to make.

Fast forward to applications being submitted, interviews with schools, and incredibly important emails containing my fate...

I was accepted to Utah State, but I was also accepted to all of the other programs I had applied to, and BYU really stood out to me when I had my interview with them.

I knew from the moment I walked out of my interview that I would end up at BYU, and a part of me was really excited about it, but a part of me didn't want to believe it. I didn't want to let go of my dream of getting accepted to and attending Utah State, and I also wasn't particularly thrilled about moving to Provo. Once I received a scholarship offer from BYU I knew the decision was made and I started to get excited about the big upcoming changes. 

I decided to start in the Spring, which meant putting in my two weeks notice at work, figuring out financial aid, finding a place to live, and finishing up my last semester of my second bachelor's degree two weeks early to be able to start school at BYU.

It was a hectic few weeks to say the least and finding a weekend to move was nearly impossible.

My parents had a trip planned to visit my sister in Idaho one weekend, but I had to beg my dad to stay and miss seeing his grandkids so he could be here to help me move.

Moving day came and on three hours of sleep I showed up to my parents' house to go and pick up the rental truck.

I was exhausted, I was stressed, and I was terrified about the major changes that were about to happen.

Right when I walked in the door my dad gave me a hug and said he understood it all without me even really explaining why I had such a sleepless night.

Holding back tears, he made me breakfast and we were on our way.

Hours later after getting moved out of my old house and into the new one, my dad stuck around to help me clean and get settled. We took a trip to Home Depot to pick up a few things, and the physical and emotional exhaustion set in. 

I wasn't happy with my current situation for a myriad of reasons and I was taking it out on my dad. He was trying to help me and was going above and beyond, but my patience was wearing very thin.

At one point after apologizing for all of the trouble and thanking my dad again for helping, he stopped me and said something to the effect of, "Look, until you're married and you have a man in your life, you're the woman in my life besides your mom." 

In my emotionally and physically exhausted state this translated to, "Hey Melissa, your life sucks because you're not married and that's why you're in this situation."

I cried right there in the lighting section of Home Depot.

After a good night of sleep and some clarity, I was ashamed at how I had acted and how I had misinterpreted my dad's comment. 

See, my dad has never been incredibly affectionate vocally, but looking back on that weekend that he spent with me - foregoing visiting his grandkids to help me move, spending two days cleaning with me, taking trips to Home Depot and buying me a few things I wouldn't have spent the money on myself, making me dinner and taking me out to lunch - all of those actions spoke volumes about the lengths that my father is willing to go to for me.

They were simple things, things you might say a father is supposed to do, but for me, in those moments of unfamiliar and uncomfortable, I had my dad by my side, and that truly meant the world to me.

So now I know, instead of meaning that I am a burden to my father and subjected to certain situations because I don't have a spouse in my life, he meant that it was his privilege to help me in any way he could.

(I'll also throw in here that I am, in fact, perfectly content with my marital status at this point in my life ;) )

I'm not sure he knows this, but that was one of those comments that will stick with me for a long time to come.

I love you dad, Happy Father's Day!

Convocation Speech

I have had quite a few requests from family and close friends to read the speech I gave at the Department of Education and Human Development convocation just over a month ago. So, if you're interested, enjoy!

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Congratulations to all of my fellow graduates! I am sure I am not alone in feeling that this entire day has been so surreal. I have experienced many emotions including excitement, humility, and relief! We made it to this very important milestone in each of our lives, but it was not without effort. We are all sitting here, about to walk across this stage and receive our diplomas because we put in time, effort, and a lot of sacrifice to make it to this point. Fortunately, I believe we can all look back and see our efforts were not wasted. We are not sitting here today feeling like we wasted our time, or that we could have done something better with the last 4 or more years. This is because this time in our lives has been filled with growth. As we walk across the stage and receive our diploma, we are being rewarded with an incredible amount of growth; growth in faith, growth in knowledge, growth in experiences, growth in relationships, growth in character, and growth in testimony. Our ultimate reward is that over our time at this remarkable university, we have experienced growth in more ways than we can possibly realize. Our diploma, simply a piece of paper, is meaningless without the realization of what it represents – our sacrifice of so many things to be able to grow personally, emotionally, spiritually, and academically.

So what now? I for one know that I have experienced all of those great emotions today, but over the past few weeks I have also experienced a lot of fear and anxiety over what lies ahead. I have felt a resistance to the big changes that are going to occur in my life now that this stage is over, and this is coming from a girl who has moved more times than she can count in the last 22 years. I have never felt more resistance to change than I have lately. As I’ve thought about this, along with all of the positive emotions I have felt, I’ve realized a few key things.

First, fear cannot dictate our choices. Elder Neil L. Andersen, in the October 2008 general conference stated, “Challenges, difficulties, questions, doubts – these are part of our mortality. But we are not alone. As disciples of the Lord Jesus Christ, we have enormous spiritual reservoirs of light and truth available to us. Fear and faith cannot coexist in our hearts at the same time. In our days of difficulty, we choose the road of faith. Jesus said, ‘Be not afraid, only believe.’” Ultimately, we have to make the decision to place faith over fear. Ultimately, we all have to come to believe and know that with the Lord, it will all work out. This leads to my second point.

Putting our faith in the Lord does not mean we will not experience difficulties. As I’m sure we already have, we will all continue to face challenges and trials in our lives. This is what allows us to grow! Think back to some of the hardest classes you have taken – were those challenging courses not so rewarding in the ways you grew as a result of your time and effort? Without challenges, we would not experience growth. Elder Dallin H. Oaks has stated, “We may have to struggle to achieve our goals, but our struggles may yield as much growth as our learning. The strengths we develop in overcoming challenges will be with us in the eternities to come. We should not envy those whose financial or intellectual resources make it easy. The stuff of growth was never made of ease, and persons who have it easy will need to experience their growth with other sacrifices or forego the advancement that is the purpose of life.” Growth occurs as we push through trials, realizing that with the Lord, it will all work out as long as we have placed our faith and trust in him. Proverbs 3:5-6 reads, “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy way acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.” This brings me to my third and final point.

Elder Russell M. Nelson, in the October 2013 General Conference began his talk, “Decision for Eternity” by saying, “My dear brothers and sisters, each day is a day of decision. President Thomas S. Monson has taught us that ‘decisions determine destiny.’ The wise use of your freedom to make your own decision is crucial to your spiritual growth, now and for eternity. You are never too young to learn, never too old to change. Your yearnings to learn and change come from a divinely instilled striving for eternal progression. Each day brings opportunities for eternity.” We have been given the beautiful gift of agency. We have the ability to make our own choices, to choose each day if we will put faith over fear, to choose each day if we will trust the Lord in our trials. We have been given the gift of being able to choose to put our circumstances to work for us, no matter how ideal or not ideal they may be.

These are all things that we have all learned in some way or another over our time at this University. These are all things that we know, that we have gained a testimony of, that we truly believe.

So now, as we all move on, to graduate school, a career, marriage, motherhood or fatherhood, or whatever it may be, we do so remaining steadfast to these things we have learned. We know that our efforts have not been wasted, that our growth has not been wasted.

I would like to close with an excerpt from a talk President Gordon B. Hinckley gave at this very pulpit as he dedicated this Hinckley building. In a very powerful closing statement, which I will do my best to emulate, he states to students just like us, “Be faithful, be true, go forward, be ambitious, don’t short circuit yourself, don’t stop now, keep going. Educate your minds and your spirits, and never lose sight of the fact that you’re a child of God with a divine destiny, and capable of doing great and good and wonderful things, don’t sell yourself short, don’t cheapen yourselves. You know who you are, you know that you are a Child of God, and that your Heavenly Father expects something great and noble and good of each of you… keep the faith, you’ll marry, you’ll have children, you’ll have grandchildren, you’ll go out and do the work of this world, but maintain your integrity, be honest, be good, be decent, be prayerful, and the God of heaven will smile upon you and bless you, and give happiness into your heart and a sense of peace in your lives. There’s no end in sight for the good you can do, you know it? You’re just simple kids, you’re not geniuses, I know that. But the work of the world isn’t done by geniuses; it’s done by ordinary people who have learned to work in an extraordinary way.”

To all of my fellow graduates, I would say – over our time at this University we have learned to work in an extraordinary way. Utilizing our education and the growth we have experienced, we will be able to go out into the world and do extraordinary things, whatever they may be. As we go forward in life keeping these things in mind – to remain faithful, to put our faith in the Lord, and to use our agency wisely, we will be blessed and be able to overcome trials, growing and learning as we were sent here to do.

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For those who requested to see the video I mentioned at the end, here it is:

May 23: Lessons

Day 23: Things you've learned that school won't teach you

I've been skipping days (oops!).

Quite honestly some of the days just haven't been my cup of tea.

Combine that with being ridiculously swamped with school and trying to keep my head above water, and blogging is just simply not my number one priority.

So I'm going to make today easy.

Here ya have it, according to Pinterest:

This topic had a lot of potential for a rather insightful post, but I just quite frankly do not have the time.

Off to do homework while answering calls and appeasing needy clients.

Party!

May 6: What do I do?

Day 6: If you couldn't answer with your job, how would you answer the question "what do you do?"

Wow, what a loaded question.

So, what do I do?

Being honest (and this isn't a cop-out), I am a student.

I've always really loved learning, even more so when the learning is in my particular area of interest.

I'm not just a student at a university, I'm a student of life (is that cheesy? Oh well!).

But seriously, I feel like I'm constantly learning about myself, about the Gospel, about other people, and about the world. 

To prove that this isn't just a cop-out, I'll share some potentially nerdy facts about myself:

~I am addicted to TED talks. I've mentioned this one before, but seriously, TED is amazing.

~I listen to General Conference talks every night in bed while I fall asleep.

~I'd rather read an autobiography or something non-fiction over Nicholas Sparks or Jodi Picoult (though those are amazing too, and I do take the time to read them ;) )

~It's not uncommon to find me spending a Saturday night watching a documentary on Netflix.

~Top Gear is one of my favorite shows. Hey, it's educational in its own way :)

In short, there are a lot of ways I could have answered this question, but I will forever be a student even long after I have my degree and have left college campuses and textbooks behind.

My fourth grade teacher would be so proud that I really have become a lifelong learner :)