Father's Day

It's been a quick minute since I posted last, but I had too many thoughts today about Father's Day than could be shared in a simple Facebook or Instagram post.

For the last two years I had one goal in mind: to go to graduate school at Utah State. 

Everyone knew it, and in my mind as long as I got accepted it would be a no-brainer and the easiest decision I ever had to make.

Fast forward to applications being submitted, interviews with schools, and incredibly important emails containing my fate...

I was accepted to Utah State, but I was also accepted to all of the other programs I had applied to, and BYU really stood out to me when I had my interview with them.

I knew from the moment I walked out of my interview that I would end up at BYU, and a part of me was really excited about it, but a part of me didn't want to believe it. I didn't want to let go of my dream of getting accepted to and attending Utah State, and I also wasn't particularly thrilled about moving to Provo. Once I received a scholarship offer from BYU I knew the decision was made and I started to get excited about the big upcoming changes. 

I decided to start in the Spring, which meant putting in my two weeks notice at work, figuring out financial aid, finding a place to live, and finishing up my last semester of my second bachelor's degree two weeks early to be able to start school at BYU.

It was a hectic few weeks to say the least and finding a weekend to move was nearly impossible.

My parents had a trip planned to visit my sister in Idaho one weekend, but I had to beg my dad to stay and miss seeing his grandkids so he could be here to help me move.

Moving day came and on three hours of sleep I showed up to my parents' house to go and pick up the rental truck.

I was exhausted, I was stressed, and I was terrified about the major changes that were about to happen.

Right when I walked in the door my dad gave me a hug and said he understood it all without me even really explaining why I had such a sleepless night.

Holding back tears, he made me breakfast and we were on our way.

Hours later after getting moved out of my old house and into the new one, my dad stuck around to help me clean and get settled. We took a trip to Home Depot to pick up a few things, and the physical and emotional exhaustion set in. 

I wasn't happy with my current situation for a myriad of reasons and I was taking it out on my dad. He was trying to help me and was going above and beyond, but my patience was wearing very thin.

At one point after apologizing for all of the trouble and thanking my dad again for helping, he stopped me and said something to the effect of, "Look, until you're married and you have a man in your life, you're the woman in my life besides your mom." 

In my emotionally and physically exhausted state this translated to, "Hey Melissa, your life sucks because you're not married and that's why you're in this situation."

I cried right there in the lighting section of Home Depot.

After a good night of sleep and some clarity, I was ashamed at how I had acted and how I had misinterpreted my dad's comment. 

See, my dad has never been incredibly affectionate vocally, but looking back on that weekend that he spent with me - foregoing visiting his grandkids to help me move, spending two days cleaning with me, taking trips to Home Depot and buying me a few things I wouldn't have spent the money on myself, making me dinner and taking me out to lunch - all of those actions spoke volumes about the lengths that my father is willing to go to for me.

They were simple things, things you might say a father is supposed to do, but for me, in those moments of unfamiliar and uncomfortable, I had my dad by my side, and that truly meant the world to me.

So now I know, instead of meaning that I am a burden to my father and subjected to certain situations because I don't have a spouse in my life, he meant that it was his privilege to help me in any way he could.

(I'll also throw in here that I am, in fact, perfectly content with my marital status at this point in my life ;) )

I'm not sure he knows this, but that was one of those comments that will stick with me for a long time to come.

I love you dad, Happy Father's Day!